alexander's Guestbook

Lynda couldn't help but smile as she watched Alexander eating and enjoying himself. "I'm glad that you are enjoying it," she said as she hadn't touched any of her food yet, which was fine with her because she would wrap it up and eat it later. Then she began to reply to his thoughts about his dad not wanting him and that he would love to meet his father. "Well, now you know that he really did want and still wants you. And you have a bunch of cousins and aunts and uncles and even nieces and nephews to get to know," she said with a huge smile. "And as soon as you finish eating dinner, I'll go get dressed and I'll take you to see him," she added and then she paused for a few minutes as she got up to wrap her own dinner up. "Oh and you have the most wonderful grandfathers one grandson could ask for," she said with a smile as she got herself a piece of tin foil and began to wrap up her dinner, which she then later stuck into the fridge. Then she went over and put her hand on his back. "You finish up here while I go upstairs and get read," she said with a smile on her face. "And I will be back in a few minutes," she told him. "Okay?" she asked him.

"Of course he did," Lynda said with a smile on his face. "I remember the first time he told me that you were going to be born," she said. "We had only started to reconnect again when he found out that your mom was pregnant," she told him. "And as he was telling me about you being on your way, I could hear the love and the pride in his voice," Lynda told Alexander. "He told me everything that he wanted to do with you, like teaching you to rope and ride, make sure you had a good work ethic, which is very important for later in life," she told Alexander and then paused for a few minutes before she went on. "And then the day you were born, he was the proudest papa in all of the west even though he had just lost your mama. I had taken time off to go visit your father, and that's when I saw you for the first time," she said as the smile on her face got bigger and brighter. She then went on speaking as if everything happened just yesterday. "The look of pride that was on your father's face was brighter than any star in the sky," she told him and then paused for a little bit to let Alexander take it all in and then she went on with her story. "You were only a few months old when your father left to find work, which meant he left you with your grandparents, and then when your father came back to get you once he had a good job and a good home for you, plus a new mom, that's when your grandparents did what they did, and because he didn't want you to through any more than you had already been through, he did the only thing that he could do," she told him.

"And that was to bow out and let your grandparents take custody of you," she said. "The last thing he said to me about you was that he hoped someday, you'll come looking for him and give him a chance to explain as well as forgive him for doing what he thought was best for you," she added and then once again paused to let the rest of that sink in. Lynda looked away for a little bit as Alexander was processing everything. It was only when Alexander asked about Abbie that she spoke again. "Of course she's still with your father. Abbie is a very sweet girl and loves your father with her heart and soul. And I know he loves her just as much. And she knows about you and prays that the good lord will bring you home to them so that you can be a part of their family," she said and then paused for a minute to listen to his questions. Then she began to chuckle a little bit as she began to answer each and every one of them. "Of course he'll like you," she told him and then placed her hand on top of his in a grandmotherly like way. "Sweetie, you won't be the only one who will be trying to figure out what to say. I know my son, and he'll be trying to figure out what to say to you too," she said with a smile on her face. "And just between you and me, he's been doing the same thing you have, trying to figure out what he would say to you if he ever met you," she told him as she watched Alexander start to eat, and when he called her grandma for the first time, she could feel her heart melt. But it was when he thanked her for telling the truth that her smile brightens. "You're welcome sweetie. So, how's the dinner?" she asked him.

Lynda didn't say anything as she looked at her grandson as she listened to everything that Alexander had to say. Once he was done speaking, she began to reply to him, with a huge a smile on her face. "Just a little," she said with a chuckle and then went on speaking to him. "Well, I'm glad you did come," she said happily. "Because now I have a chance to catch up on everything I missed while you were growing up," she added as she listened to him talk about his adopted parents. "Yes, I know. I wasn't too thrilled about the people who raised you, but there was nothing I could do," she told him. "Before I could even do anything, the papers for them to adopt you were already signed and it was a done deal," she said with a sigh as she went on, now talking about her son Candy. "Oh, he knew and he loved you, how do you think I know about you silly?" she asked him playfully. "But at the time, your father couldn't raise a baby by himself, so he left you with the people who betrayed him and went to find work," she told him. "And he not only found work, but he also found a new love and once they were married, he brought her with him to come and get you, but they weren't happy with his choice of brides, so their lawyer forced him to sign his rights away or else he would go to prison and he still wouldn't have been able to see you," she told him, knowing he would want the whole truth, so she just kept talking and going on with the story. "It soon got around town about Candy and his new bride," Lynda said and then she paused as if she was deciding on whether to go on or stop there. Then Lynda let out a sigh and continued because she owed it to him. Besides, she was done lying to people. "See, your father married a black woman, which a lot of people, even to this day, doesn't think is a good idea, but your father loves her so much," she added. "So, after coming by and telling me what was going on, him and I decided the best thing they could do is go into hiding," she told him honestly. Then she went on to answer his questions before moving onto his schooling and going to college.

"Your father was and is a very good man. He's hard working, and loves his family, which includes you, even though, like I said, he was forced to give you up," she told him and then went on with a smile on his face. "And of course I know where he is, I know where all my children are, well, except for a few of them," she said as she trailed off for a few minutes and then shook it off as she went on talking. "I know he would love to see you and see the fine man you turned out to be," she started to tell him. "I'll take you to see him just as soon as you finish your lunch," she said with a warm smile on her face. Then she reached over and took Alexander's hand into hers. "And as far as figuring out where you came from and where you belong," Lynda started as she gave his hand a little squeeze. "You came from a wonderful family, who tragically was torn apart by circumstances that couldn't be helped," she added. "And where you belong is right here, with your family who love you very much, and yes I'm speaking for your father as well," she added as she went on in her most serious voice she had. "And you are wanted," she told him without hesitation. "You are wanted by me and your father," she added. "You are wanted by your new family, and believe me, there is a lot of family around here," she said with a chuckle and then she went on. "But most importantly, you are wanted by your father. There isn't a day that doesn't go by when I don't talk to him and he tells me how much he wishes he could see you," she said with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes as she moved onto his schooling and how he was doing and whether or not he wanted to go to college. "And I'm glad that you are doing so well in school. And don't worry about being good at math. A lot of people aren't, but as long as you can do basic math, you'll be fine," she said with a chuckle and then once again got serious. "And if you really want to go to college," she told him honestly. "Then tuition and books and whatever else you might need, will be taken care off," she told him and then went on with a smile on her face. "Now, eat up, because you have a father that's been waiting all these years to see you," she added.

Lynda didn't say anything for a few minutes as she just continued to look at her grandson. She knew who he was from the moment she opened that door. And though he looks like his mother, Miranda, she knew he was the spitting image of her son, Candy. Finally, after getting over the initial shock of seeing Alex for the first time since he was born, she gently grabbed him and gently pulled him into a warm and accepting embrace. And she just stood there for a while hugging him and fighting back the tears, though she knew she was losing the battle as a few tears started to fall. Finally, after about 5 minutes or so, she pulled away and wiped her tears from her eyes. Then she let out a sigh as she began to speak to him, softly and gently. "Wow, my grandson all grown up," she said as if she had already known about him. "I haven't seen you since the day you were born and your mother, Miranda, went to be with Jesus," she said with a chuckle and a warm smile on her face. "And I'm sorry I was staring, but as much as you look like Miranda, you take after your father so much," she added. Then she remembers her manners as she was excited to see him. "Oh my, you must be hungry after your long journey," she told him as she took Alexander's hand a led him to the kitchen.

"You just sit right there," she said as she led him over to the table and sat him down in a chair. "And you just tell grandma all about your life and then I will answer any questions you might have," she told him with a huge smile on her face. She then began to work on a little snack for Alexander. As she was doing this, she began to ask questions of her own. "So, tell me about yourself and how school is going," she said happily as if she had been waiting for this moment for a long while now. "Are you planning to go to college?" she asked him as she finally decided to give him a chance to answer her. Once she was done making him a roast beef sandwich with potato chips and a couple of pickle slices on the side, she decided she would make herself one, which she did. After fixing her own plate, she took both plates over to the table and sat one down in front of him and then the other in front of the place that she would be sitting, which was next to him. Then she went over to the refrigerator and grabbed her a ginger ale and him a coke. She took the two cans of soda over to the table and then went back for two glasses of ice, which she sat next to the cans. Finally, she sat down next to Alexander and as she was cutting her sandwich in half, she couldn't help but ask one more question. "You're looking for your father, aren't you?" she asked without missing a beat.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Lynda said as she rushed from the kitchen to answer the door. She had been in the process of making homemade bread when she heard the knock and then the doorbell. She quickly wiped her hands on the towel before finally opening the door. Shock and surprise came to Lynda's face as she thought she was looking at a ghost from her past. She could feel goosebumps begin to arise on her skin as she looked into the eyes of what she thought was her son, Candy, though she knew it wasn't really him. But the stranger looked exactly like her son. At first all Lynda could do was stare but finally, after about 5 minutes or so of complete silence, Lynda finally shook everything off and began to speak to him.

"Forgive me for starring, but you look exactly like someone I know," she told him and then finally remembered her manners. "Anyway, I'm Lynda Winchester Singer House Cartwright, but you can just call me Lynda," she said with a smile on her face. "Who might you be young man?" she asked still with the smile on her face. "Are you here to see one of my stepchildren or my husband Ben?" she asked him. She had a feeling he was here to see her, though she had no idea why or who he was. She continued to stand there with the door open, waiting for him to answer, when she remembered her bread was proofing in the kitchen. "Why don't you follow me to the kitchen and tell me who you are and why you are here," she added. "I have homemade bread that probably ready to go into the oven by now," she said with a smile as she moved so that Alexander could enter the Ponderosa ranch house.