angel's Guestbook

Lynda smiled and then she let out a sigh. She really didn't know where to start in her explaining what was going on with her. She knew her son wasn't a child anymore. In fact, none of them were, well, except for Jamie and even he was growing up. But she also knew that no matter how old they got, her four boys would always be her little boys forever. But she knew now she couldn't hide them from the truth, so Lynda decided to tell Angel the truth, even though it was going to be painful to talk about, she knew he needed to know. So, Lynda let out one more deep sigh and then began to speak to him with a soft and yet serious tone. "My OCD began when I was a little girl," she started. "You Uncle Mark was only a year old at the time and your Aunt Victoria was still in your grandmother's belly," she added as she went on, still looking deep into Angel's eyes, at least for now. "Your grandfather was, well, he was a strange man. And at that time, he was also the only doctor in the town that we lived and often I had to be the one to help him since mom was busy with Mark and resting because of Victoria," she added. Then she paused for a little bit to gather her thoughts before going on.

"At first things seemed normal with dad," she told Angel. "The town loved dad and he did everything a doctor was supposed to do to keep everybody healthy," she added as her face started to get a little pale as she was talking about her past. "But as the days and months went on, dad began to change and do unnecessary procedures and even unnecessary surgeries, and again, I was left to be the one to help him," she told Angel. "But it wasn't until a few months after your Aunt Victoria was born that things really got bad and that's when my OCD first started," she told Angel. She took a brief pause for a few minutes as if she was gathering more thoughts. Then she felt a little twinge of pain in her stomach, and she couldn't help but wince a bit. Once the pain passed, Lynda looked up at Angel. She looked a little paler than before, but she didn't let that stop her from telling Angel the truth. "Angel, honey, is the tea ready yet?" she asked him. "I could use a little something to wet my throat before going on," she told him as she didn't want to tell him about her stomach being upset, though she knew he probably saw her wince just a few minutes.

"Don't worry, you didn't" she said with a huge smile on her face. Lynda looked at the TV, and she couldn't help but smile. She was momentarily thinking about all those times when Angel would come home from school and turn on the TV. Lynda snapped back to reality when Angel got up and came over to her, speaking as he walked over and stood next to her. She reached up and softly touched Angel's face as she gave him a hug. Then she pulled back and once more looked up at Angel. "I'm feeling much better now," she said with a smile on his face. "And I would love some hot tea, if you don't mind fixing it for me son," she said softly. "Now days coffee upsets my stomach to the point of throwing up," she told him as she let Angel go and followed him into the kitchen.

"I'm glad I'm awake too," she said with a huge smile on her face. "Because there is so much, we have to talk about," she told him with a smile. "Some of the stuff good and some not so good," she said as they reached the kitchen. Lynda then went and sat at the kitchen table as Angel got straight to work on Lynda's tea. She knew the first thing they had to address was her hands, which she could tell was on Angel's mind too. "I suppose we should start with why my hands are wrapped up like mummy hands," she told him as she watched him putting water in a kettle and set it on the stove. Lynda let out a sigh and soon began to speak about that. "Angel, do you remember when you were young and after every fight your father and I had, I would always go find something to clean and then reclean or I would be sitting in my chair and I would be wringing my hands as if the were hurting?" she asked him.

Lynda slept for several hours before she started to move around on the couch. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked around and then down at her hands. She let out a sigh as she remembered what happened and she couldn't help but sigh again. Then she lay on the couch for a little while, to which she noticed that she was covered up. Lynda couldn't help but smile as she figured it was her son Angel, who covered her up.

After a couple of hours more of just laying on the couch and resting, Lynda finally got up and went downstairs. Lynda stood at the bottom of the stairs, just watching him as he was watching tv. Finally, after standing there for a little bit just watching, she walked over and began to speak to him. "Hey baby, what are you watching?" she asked him with a smile on her face and looking like her old self.

After talking to Lynda on the phone, Bobby knew she was right and he had to try to make things better between him an Angel. So as Bobby was waiting for his food, he decided he would try to talk to Angel and at least try to make some sort of amends. 

So, Bobby, after staring at his son's number  for a while, hit the green call button and as it rang, Bobby tried to think of what he would say to Angel when or even if he even answered his phone call. Bobby had to keep telling himself silently that he was doing it for Lynda. 

As Lynda slept, she let her dreams take her back to a time where her boys were young and free. She had just found out she was pregnant with Jamie and all three of her husbands, at the time, before she met Ben, were working hard to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Angel was already forming complete sentences and walking around like a big boy. Dean was walking and talking, but still had a hard time with most words. 

And then there was little Sam, who was still crawling and talking his baby talk, which always put a huge smile on Lynda's face evey time. And it was doing it once more as she continued to dream  about the times before. And the more she dreamt about that time the deeper the sleep she was in. And of course, the bigger the smile she had on her face.