ben's Guestbook

Lynda smiled as she watched him trying to swallow the news of Lynda being pregnant with triplets. Neither of them saying anything for a little while as Ben was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that they were having triplets and Lynda just sat there watching with a smile on her face, though it was a borderline smirk. Finally, after clearing her throat, Lynda began to speak to Ben. "I have always been told that I am an overachiever," she said and then let out a chuckle as she reached out and softly took his hand into hers. "So, are you happy with the news?" she asked him, already knowing the answer to that. For a few moments, everything was happy and joyful, and they didn't have to worry about anything. But it wasn't long before the worry and fear all came back and Lynda knew that Ben had went from thinking about the triplets to thinking about the condition that Adam and Hoss was in. That's when all the playfulness and happiness she had as an expecting mother and a wife, changed to being a hard-working and serious doctor. Lynda didn't say anything for a few minutes, as she let him process everything he had just heard about Adam. Lynda was still holding his hand and gave it a gentle and yet loving squeeze as she started speaking to him. "Ben, Adam's still strong," she told him. "We are going to do everything we can to get him well again," she told him. "But you do have to be prepared for things to not go the way we are planning they go," she told Ben honestly as she went on. "I promise I will do the everything I can and I am going to get the best neurosurgeon there is," she added. "I also have some other specialist that I want to bring in," she added as she let out a sigh and then moved onto Hoss's condition.

"Well, with Hoss," Lynda started. "His heart yes is bigger than it should and could a contributing factor to why his heart is so weak, but not the whole reason," she told him and then went on, still using her medical tone. "But what is caused his heart to get so weak now, and I'll to an ultrasound to confirm this," she told him. "Is I believe that Hoss has a lot of fluid around his heart, which is causing him to struggle as much as he is now. If I'm right, which I'm pretty sure I am, it's probably been building for a while, which means even if he had been taking it easy, it still was there, just not as bad as it is now," she told him. "But we can put in a draining tube and then once all the fluid is gone, we can put in a wire that we can hook up to a device that will pump his heart for him, which he really will have to take it easy because the LVad won't let him do much of anything, except for giving us more time to find him a new heart," she told him. Then she went silent for a little bit as she let Ben take what she said and process as she gave his hand another squeeze as she listened to him finally speak about going home while his boys were fighting for their lives in two different hospital beds. When he was done, she began to speak to him again. She could tell by the look on his face that he really didn't want to leave, which was understandable, but she also knew he needed the rest. But when Ben said that after they ate and he went to see them that he would essentially go home and get some rest, though he didn't quite put it like that, but she got the message anyhow. Lynda smiled as she gave Ben's hand one last squeeze and began to speak as she let it go.


"I think that's the best idea you have ever had," she said chuckling as she was trying to lighten the mood. Lynda couldn't help but blush as she listened to Ben speak to how he wouldn't know where he would be without her. She could feel the tears starting to sting her eyes, like they had all day, but she kept fighting them away, though she didn't know how much longer she would be able to do that. But before she said anything more, Lynda stood up and soon Ben followed and they stood next to each other for a few minutes before Lynda reached over and took his hand. Lynda smiled and then nodded as they stood started walking towards the door. And once they were out in the hall, Lynda closed the door behind her and soon they were on their way to the cafeteria. "And for the record, if it wasn't for your love and everything you give to me," she told him as they got to the elevator to take them down to 1st floor and to the cafeteria. "I probably wouldn't be as strong as I am," she told him as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. Then she pushed the down button and they waited for the doors to open. And as they waited, Lynda happily changed the subject back to the babies. "Are you going to tell Adam and Hoss about the babies?" she asked just as the doors finally opened and they walked in.

Lynda was busy working on plans for both Adam and Hoss when she heard Ben calling her name. He still sounded very tired and worried but at least he did sleep a little bit. She got up from her chair and went over and sat next to bed and once she was sitting down next to him, she reached over and took Ben's hand into hers as she began speaking. "Because you need sleep," she said honestly. "You have worried yourself to the point of exhaustion. Besides, you looked really cute while you were sleeping all cuddled up in the blanket on my couch," she told him with a smile and a sparkle in her eyes. Then she got serious when he started to ask about her. "Well, the last time I sat down for more than five minutes is when I had my ultrasound," she said as she pulled out an ultrasound photo of three little babies growing inside of her. Then she gently handed it over to him. "This isn't how I really wanted to tell you, but it's as good of a time as any," she told him. "You know that wild night and day we had a couple of months ago in our bedroom?" she asked him and then went on. "Well, now we are going to need a nursery and three of everything," she said as she sat there and let that sink in for a little bit before she finished her thoughts. "And I really haven't felt like eating anything because of the nausea, but I was planning on going down to the cafeteria for a bite to eat if you would like to join me before going and seeing Hoss and Adam," she said once again smiling. Lynda went silent as she waited for Ben to take everything in, but it wasn't until he asked about Adam and Hoss that made her frown and though she didn't want to talk about them now, she knew that Ben wasn't going to give up until she told him how they were, so she let out a sigh and began to speak to Ben, more like a doctor now than his wife.

"Ben," Lynda said sound the most serious than she ever had. "I'm not going to lie or sugar coat anything. The boys are in real trouble this time," she said and then went on speak so he didn't interrupt her. "Let me start with Adam," she added and then went on speaking. "Adam has sever trauma to his spinal cord and even possibly severed it. I won't know until I have Nick look more closely at his scans, which I will doing that once I get back from getting a little something to eat," she told him and then went on describing Adam's condition and what they were doing for him. "There is a real good chance that he could throw a blood clot, which in Adam's condition, could kill him before we even got to him. As for any head injuries, I thought I saw a couple of small bleeders around the cortex of his brain, which will be easy to fix but the one that I'm more worried about is the one that's close to his frontal lobe. That one is pretty big and could cause some major problems, but again, I won't know anything more until I get a hold of Nick and get his opinion," she said as she was still holding Ben's hand. She gave it a little squeeze. "But don't worry, my love, Nick and I won't let anything happen to Adam. In fact, right now he is stable and immobilized so that he can't move and make his injuries any worse," she told Ben and then went quiet for a little while. She looked away for a bit as if she was letting Ben process everything she had just told him, though she knew she still had to tell him about Hoss's condition. After about ten minutes, Lynda let out a sigh and then went on to speak about Hoss's condition. "Now, as for Hoss, his condition isn't quiet as bad as Adam's, but it's still pretty bad," she told Ben. "Hoss's heart is getting worse but not because he didn't listen to my instructions, though that didn't help matters. His heart is failing because there is a lot of fluid around it and it's not only causing Hoss's heart to work harder than it already was, but it's slowly squeezing the parts that are still good," she told Ben.

"Right now, the only thing we can do for Hoss is to put in a chest tube so we can drain as much fluid off his heart as possible," she told Ben and then went on speaking before Ben could say anything about anything she had told him. "If we can drain a lot of it, hopefully all of it, off of his heart," she went on to explain to Ben. "Then I can go in and put a wire and hook it up to a device called a portable LVad that will pump his heart for him, while his heart rests," she told him. "But, in order to for the LVad to do its job, Hoss has to know his limits and not do anything that might cause the machine to work harder than what it's supposed to do," she said. "Like said I before, we have to get the fluid or as much of it as possible, off his heart, which by the look of the x-ray, has been building for quiet a while," she said, now using her softest doctor's voice as she gave Ben's hand another little squeeze. "Which means, he'll have to stay in the hospital while we are taking the fluid off, so that I can monitor him very closely. But that doesn't mean I want you to spend all your time here," she said firmly and yet still using doctor's voice. "You have finals to take and a ranch to run, among other things to do," she added. "So, let's go get something to eat, then you can go visit both Adam and Hoss for a little bit and then I want you to go home and get yourself a good night's sleep. I'll stay here at least tonight to keep a very close eye on both boys and make sure their vitals stay up and they stay stabilized. Hopefully Elizabeth and Inger will be home soon and then they can stay with the boys while I go back to looking for Hoss a new heart and getting some competent doctors to come work for me," she added as she let out a sigh of relief that she was finished being a doctor and having to give someone bad news. Now she went on speaking to Ben in her normal wifey voice. "Now, let's go get something to eat before I start to get sick," she added. "What do you say?" she asked Ben.

After Lynda went into the trauma room where Adam was, she went straight to work. She was comforting him as she worked on him. She knew that Ben was worried about Adam and Hoss, but she could only take one problem at a time and as long as Hoss was stable, she could concentrate on Adam for the time being. She got him breathing normally again by giving him a shot that would counter the penicillin. It was over three hours before they got Adam stable enough to wheel him down to get an MRI and a CT scan. But as they were coming out of the room with Adam, Lynda told the head nurse that was going down with him, to rush the results. The nurse nodded and soon was on their way. As she watched Adam being wheeled down to Radiology, she decided she would go grab something hot to drink, like some hot tea, since she was feeling a bit nauseous, and then she would go give Ben an update. So, Lynda went down to the cafeteria and got her a hot ginger tea and then headed to her office.

Once she got to her office and seen Ben sleeping peacefully and she couldn't help but smile as she sat her tea gently on the table and went over and gently pulled the blanket over him as if she was tucking in him. Then she leaned over and softly kissed his cheek. "Sleep tight, my love," she whispered to him and then tussled his for a couple of minutes before going over and grabbing her tea. Then she went over to her desk and began to check emails as she waited for the results of Adam's tests. And as she was going through her email, her iPad went off and soon she was looking at Hoss's test results. His head scan came back clean, which she breathed a sigh of relief. Once son with a brain injury was enough. But what she did find was that fluid was starting to build up around his heart, which was causing his heart to work overtime and get weaker in the process. She knew she had to get a draining tub in him right away, but it was all going to depend on what Adam's tests showed.

Lynda stood there for a few minutes just looking into Ben's eyes. She could see the fear and the worry that he always carried around with him. But for the first time in a long time, she also seen her loving husband. She knew he was still in there among all that mixed emotional mess he had going on. She didn't say anything at first, just held his hand for a few minutes and gave it a little squeeze every now and then to let him know that she was hearing everything he was saying and that she understood it. Then Lynda leaned over and softly kissed Ben on the lips and it wasn't just a quick I will see you later type of kiss. This kiss was one that was deep and passionate, like the ones she first gave him before the weight of the world started to bring everything down on them. And as they continued kissing him, she was going to make sure that he could still taste her on his lips when she left him.

Finally, Lynda broke the kiss and once more looked at him softly. Then she let go of his hand and grabbed her tablet with all of Adam and Hoss's test results on it. "You know I will do everything in my power to make sure Adam and Hoss comes through this," she finally told Ben softly and sweetly. Then she put her hand into her pocket and pulled out a key and placed it into Ben's hands. "This is the key to my office. Why don't you go in there and lay down on the couch. I have a tv in there as well with all the best channels, so you can rest and relax. And when I'm finished, I'll come get you," she added still using that same soft and sweet tone she had used before. Ben nodded and took the key and soon she was rushing to the trauma room where Adam was fighting for his life, and knowing in the back of her head, Ben was still tasting her on his lips.

Elizabeth could see just how tired and worn-out Ben really was. She knew that he needed a vacation away from here but with Hoss in his condition at the moment, she knew that she wasn't going to be able to get him too far from the Ponderosa, so she did the next best thing. "Come here, my love," she told him as she gently pulled him down to where his head was laying in her lap. She gently began to run her fingers through his hair as he just laid there. After a few minutes of silence, Elizabeth began to speak to Ben, using the softest tone she had. "Just lay here for a little while, my love," she told him as she continued running her fingers through his hair, gently massaging the side of his head. "Don't think about anything. Just lay here and listen to the sound of my voice," she told him as she went on speaking to everything, he had told her before pulling him down so that his head was laying on her lap.

"First, Hoss is going to be fine. He'll get a new heart before you know it and be back to work in no time," she told him as she went on to speak about Inger. "I remember how lost you were when you thought Inger was gone," she told him and she knew that if he lost Hoss, he would be worse than when Inger was kidnapped. "But in time, the truth came out and Inger was found alive and safe," she said. "And I know that Hoss's situation is different, but I believe that with time, he will make a full recovery," she told him as she kept playing with his hair softly as she listened to Ben's breathing slowing down as if he was starting to relax a bit. "As for Lynda, I think she's just stressed out because she's working so hard to keep Hoss alive," she told Ben honestly. "I know without a shadow of doubt that she loves you just as much as me, Inger and Marie love you," Elizabeth added softly. "And I know that nothing in this whole world will change that," she added as she went from using and understanding tone to more of a serious wife tone.

"And you don't have to worry, I'm not going anywhere," she told him. "I have a bunch of vacation days I'm taking just so that I can be here for a while," she told him. And there were another silence and this one lasted for a while. After about fifteen minutes or so of Elizabeth just running her fingers through Ben's hair and then gently rubbing the side of his head as if trying to help get rid of an unspoken headache, Elizabeth began to speak again to him. This time she had an idea that she knew Ben might go for. "Ben, honey," she started as she stopped what she was doing. "Why don't you and I go lay down together upstairs in our bed?" she asked him. "We can lock the bedroom door and turn off our cell phones and just get lost in each other's arms like we used to before life happened," she added, knowing with the way Ben was feeling right now, he would definitely go for her suggestion. "And I promise you, by the time we are done in there, I will have made you feel like your old self once again," she told him with a smile on her face.