joe's Guestbook

Lynda listened to everything that Joe had to say. She had been right where Joe had been and even though her life experience was different than Joe's, she still knew what it was like to be scared and alone or at least felt like she was alone. And that was the last thing she wanted Joe to feel. But it wasn't until Joe called Lynda mom that she really felt like a mom. This feeling filled her heart with not only joy but love as well. Finally, after several minutes of trying to figure out what she should say next, since she had so many emotions running through her now, Lynda continued to figure out just the right words to say. Then she let out a sigh and let her heart come up with the words to say to her son. "Joe, honey, I can see so many things in those beautiful eyes of yours," she told him as she lifted her hand and gently wiped away his tears. "I can see the longing and the need for a lot of different things," she said.

"And I know what it's like to have those kinds of things in your eyes and nobody there to give you what you need," she added. Then her facial expression softened even more as she not only continued to wipe away Joe's tears but continued to speak from the heart. "Baby, I know you hate these feelings," she told him. "But believe me, you are not a problem," she told him. "And even if you didn't have these feelings and it was something else," she told him. "You are part of a strong and loving family that is always going to worry about you not because they have to," she told him. "But because they love you," she told him. "That's what being a family is all about," she told him with a smile. "And Joe, honey, you come from a very strong and loving family," she with a smile on her face.

As Joe went on speaking from his heart, the way Lynda carried herself softened, which made her feel even more sympathetic towards Joe. Once it was her turn to speak, she just let her heart do all the talking while her mouth produced the words. "I know it feels like the world is falling apart around you, especially when those kinds of thoughts pop into your head," she said softly. "But like I said, you are in a family full of love and the strength that they have is your strength too," she told him. "And whenever those thoughts try to take you down, just look around at the people who is in this house and let their love and strength pick you up," she told him as she gently pulled him to her. Lynda softly put her arms around Joe and pulled him to her, letting her love wash over him, like she knew he desperately needed. But it was when he called her mom that made Lynda's heart sore. She had finally gotten through to Joe, and they were finally on common ground and hopefully able to build a good relationship from there.

Lynda gently pulled away from Joe and looked at him deep into his eyes. The smile on her face grew bigger and brighter as she looked at him. Finally, she began to speak to him softly and warmly. "You can call me whatever makes you feel comfortable," she told him. "I won't force you call me mom, considering you already have one, but I won't say no if you prefer to call me mom," she said happily and then let out a sigh as she changed the subject. "Well, what do you say about going into the kitchen with me and having some ice cream?" Lynda asked. "I believe there is still some rocky road left and I am so craving some right now," she added. "Besides, that will give us time to plan out how you want to redo your room," she added still smiling.

"Oh, and far as your physical is concerned," she told Joe. "I don't mind doing your physical. I mean I do have four boys of my own and unless you have something they don't," she said with a tease to her voice. She gave Joe's hand a squeeze and then gave him another big hug as she whispered her reply to what he just said. "I know you're still scared and you know what?" she asked him not even waiting for an answer. "I'm just as scared as you are, but we will get through together," she said and then pulled way. "Now, how about that ice cream?" she asked him.

Andrew couldn't help but chuckle as Joe made that comment about Marie. Then he shook his head and then began to speak to his brother again. "Are you sure you're not confusing your mama with my mama?" Andrew asked Joe playfully. "I mean, you just described something that my mama would do, which I could see her doing," he said laughing. "I see your mama getting you a new gaming system or something more expensive that you want," he said laughing as Andrew sat upon Sport, waiting for Joe to finish up and get up on Cochise. Then Andrew got Spot ready to race, though he knew in the back of his mind he was going to let Joe win, just for old time's sake.

"Hey I'm already ready little brother," Andrew said playfully. "And I don't think I'll be losing today," he said with another playful smirk on his face as he watched Joe getting Cochise lined up with Sport. When Joe said it was on Andrew's mark, Andrew couldn't help but smile as he started the countdown. "Ready.....set....go! Andrew shouted as he squeeze Sport's sides together to make him go just a little ahead of Cochise, knowing it wouldn't be long before Joe caught up and then passed him and Sport.

"I know son," she said with a smile as she looked deep into Joe's eyes. She could see the old Joe started coming back to life as he was taking her advice and breathing nice and slowly. She kept his hand in hers as she gave him a nice warm and motherly smile. She kept softly touching him like a mother wiping away her son's tears as she began to speak to him softly while using a mother's tone. "Baby, don't you worry about me," she said with a smile. "I have four boys of my own, and one your age," she said with a chuckle. "Nothing you can do will freak me out," she told him.

"I know you don't understand what's going on," she told him. "And I know you hate feeling like this," she told him. "I hate it every time I get the way I get too," she told him. "But we are family and we will get through this together," she added. "There maybe some bumps and unexpected chaos along the way, but family is much stronger than anything that comes our way," she added with s smile as if she was already on the road to recovery. "And I know nobody has ever explained it to you because I'm not sure they know themselves," she said as she went on.

"But the most important thing is that you know that you are not broken and that you are loved by everyone in this house," she said with a huge smile. "And that includes me, regardless of anything I may have said or done," she told him with a huge smile on her face. Then she got serious for a little bit as she listened to everything Joe had to say, which she knew were his concerns.
"Baby, I promise you, you are not bringing this family down," she told him. "And I will never give up on you," she added. "You are my son, no matter what anyone says," she said with a smile on his face.

Lynda smiled as she heard him ask her to stay with him until Ben got back from work. "Of course I will stay with you," she said with a huge smile on her face. "And I will make you feel even more at ease about everything," she said. "I'll be the one to give you a physical, or if you aren't comfortable with me doing it, then my brother Mark or even James can do it," she told him. "It's you choice," she added with a smile on her face

Andrew didn't say anything for a few minutes as he got up on his horse. For the first time in what Andrew would consider years, he and Joe was starting to feel like real brothers and in the back of his mind, he hoped that they could keep it that way. Andrew continued to sit there for a while longer as he looked out at the Ponderosa, and then back down at his little brother. 

Andrew smiled and then finally he began to speak to Joe. "It ain't Pa that scares me if something happens to you," he smirked, knowing Joe knew Andrew was talking about Marie. "Your mama marrie a cop, and the last thing I need to be thrown under the jail," he said laughing as he tried to get himself serious, though it was very hard to do.

"Anyway Little Joe, you have 30 seconds to finishe up what you're doing and get up in that saddle," he told Joe playfully. "Then I'm going to start riding, proving that I can be the first one to the end of the road," Andrew said laughing playfully as he looked at his watch to keep time. "So you better get a move on if you intend to win," Andrew smirked  playfully. 

She knew that Joe was starting to feel very scared and worried about what and why she was asking the things she was. Lyndas softly took Joe's hands in to her, letting him feel the motherly love she had for him. Then she began to speak softly and gently talking to him. "Close your eyes and take a few deep breathes," she told him. "Then count to ten a couple of times before you open your eyes again. 

Once Joe had done everything she told him to and he felt more calmer, she began to touch his face softly as she spoke to him. "It's alright sweetie," she said softly. "First of all, nobody thinks you are broken," she told him. "You just need a little help getting controlling the thoughts that just won't go away," she told him. Then Lynda let out a soft smile as she continue to speak to him.

"Son, I will go with you and make sure you get a clean bill of health on all accounts," she said with a smile. "And I will help you get back on your meds, but only if you  promise me that you will let me set you up with a doctor who does the same job as your mother, but isn't your mother," she told Joe.