sam's Guestbook

Lynda couldn't help but laugh a little bit. Then she began to speak to Sam with a smile on her face. "Dean's always been like that," she told Sam. "Of course, that boy has always been able to eat anything he wants and never gain a single pound," she told Sam as she looked how skinny he was. "Of course, you are the same way," she told Sam with a smile as a thought hit her like a bolt of lightning. She looked away for a moment and then back at Sam. "In fact, all four of you boys are like that," she said and then chuckled as she went on to change the subject.

Lynda couldn't help but smile as she listened to Sam talk about how great a job she did and how fine they turned out just fine despite them being Winchesters. "Thank you, baby, for saying so," she told him. "And I tried to protect all four of you from the bad things of the world, but it wasn't always possible, especially with the way your father and Angel's father always went on hunts together, but everything worked out okay in the end and that's all that really matters anyway," she told him with a smile on her face.

Lynda then let out a soft sigh as she thought about what Sam said. She couldn't help but smile as she began to respond to what Sam told her about being broken. "Aww....sweetie," she told him. "I will tell you that anytime you need it," she told him. "But it's true, you're not broken," she told him. "You are a very good looking and smart as a whip," she told him. "You are as normal as anybody else. You just have a slight imperfection that requires you to be on medicine," she told him.

"You're very welcome, Sammy," she told as she closed her eyes while he kissed her on the forehead. Then Lynda laid back on the couch as she looked up and smiled at her son. "I know you boys will," she said as she gave his hand a little squeeze. "And Dean didn't cry exactly," she told Sam as she smiled up from the position, she was in. "But he did get all teary-eyed and like always, used the excuse of having something in his eye. But I knew he loved them," she said with a smile on her face as she went on to talk about Sam staying with her while she rests.

"I do appreciate it Sammy," she said with a smile on her face. "But you don't have to sit there while I nap," she told him. And then she smiled as she went on with her thoughts. "But if you are going to, at least read a book or play on your computer, that way you're not bored," she told him with a smile as she could feel her eyes getting a bit heavy. "Or you can watch tv, just keep the volume down," she told him as she started to close her eyes and sleep.

Lynda couldn't help but smile and chuckle at Sam's little joke about Dean. For the first time in a while, she actually felt like her old self, though she knew she still had a long way to go to make everything right again, both with herself and with the rest of the family. Finally Lynda was ready to speak and this time she sounded much like her old self. 

"Well, just as long as Dean finds his way home, I don't care if Dean can smell my cooking from three states over," she said laughing and then she got serious again. "Hey that's my job as a mother," she told Sam as she reached out and touched his face in a motherly way. "I dread to think what you boys would have grown up to be like if I wasn't around," she said now chuckling once more as she continued speaking to him

"Oh Sam, you're not broken," she told him as she leaned over and softly kissed his cheek. "You just have special problems, like your mama, that requires you to have a little extra help," she told him. "But anyway," she said as she was moving on with the conversation. "I'm still proud of you Sam and I always will," she added. "And thank you son, hearing you say that makes being your mother all the more worth it," she said as she gave Sam another motherly kiss. 

Then Lynda  let out a sigh as she let the silent fall between them for a little while. After about 10 minutes of not saying anything and Lynda going deep in thought, she began to speak again. "Well, Sammy," she started. "If you will let your mama rest for a little bit," she continued. "We will get dinner started afterwards," she told him. "Oh and I told Dean this, but I have a book  for you and your brothers that has all of mine and your grandma's reciepes in them," she said with a smile. "I thought you boys could use it later on in life," she added. "But always remember, whenever you are cooking, and it doesn't matter what you cook or even if you use a receipe, always make sure to cook with love and from your heart," she told him. 

"Yes I'm up for letting my boys help," she told Sam with a huge grin. Then she thought about what Sam suggested for dinner and she loved ever bit of it. "I think roast and my mash potatoes and gravy. You can't have mashed potatos without grave," she told him. "And maybe throw on some corn on the cob and a big apple pie for desert," she told still grinning. "Does that sound like a good dinner?" she asked him as she moved onto Sam's medication. 

"And I'm glad you boys look out for each other," she told him. "And in answer to your question, yes that's what family does, no matter what," she added. "But anyway, I'm glad you are keeping up with your meds, and that Dean is making sure of that," she told Sam. "But I would feel better if you saw your Uncle Mark every now and then just to make sure your meds are still working," she told him. "I would suggest you go see Marie, but she's not my favorite person at the moment," she added as she looked away and then back at Sam. 

"Thank you Sam," she said softly as she gently tried to touch his hand with hers without winching in pain. Then she went on speaking the rest of her thought before moving onto a new subject. "You know that's my job to be there for you and your brothers," she told him. "But I do appreciate you boys being here when the going gets tough," she said smiling big and brightly. The she got serious when she turned the conversation onto how Sam was doing.

"That's good that your brother is keeping a close eye on you and that you are taking your meds," she told Sam. Then Lynda smiled as she moved her hand from Sam's hand to his face, still winching in pain, but managing still to make her touch soft and warm like only a mother could.  "I know son, and those hard days alwyas seem to be the longest," she told him. "Especially when things start weighing you down," she told him and then went one with her thoughts. 

"But we will get through this together and lean on each other like family is supposed to do," she told him and she leaned up and softly kissed Sam's cheek as she changed the subject. "Now, enough about the bad stuff," she said trying to be cheerful. "Let's talk about dinner tonight with the family," she told Sam happily. "Is there anythign special you want to include with dinner?" she asked. 

Lynda started to calm down at the soft touch of Sam's hand. Finally she just fell into her son gently as she just let him hold her for a few moments. She felt safe and content just being close to her son as she continued to just lay in his arms for a little while. Finally, she pulled away and looked up at Sam. She knew that from the time Sam could walk that he was more like her than what anybody realized with having everything in order and in neat stacks so that he could find things a lot easier. 

Finally, Lynda began to speak to him softly and calmly. "I'm sorry Sam. I never wanted you to see me like that. I know how hard you are trying to keep your OCD in check," she said as she took a deep breathe and kept speaking to her son. "Have you been taking your medicine and keeping Dean in the loop about your symptoms?" she asked her son, not worried about herself anymore but worried more about him.