john's Guestbook

Lynda could feel John gently squeezing her hand in a promise that he would come back to her. Lyda smiled, despite the tears that were still falling, and gave his hand a squeeze back, letting him know that everything would be okay as she watched him close his eyes. Then after John was completely asleep, Lynda leaned down once more and kissed his forehead. Then Lynda sat up and looked over at Mark. She let out a sigh and began to speak to him. "Now we wait," she said to him as she looked at her brother. "Thank you Mark, for doing this. You know how much he means to me, of course, I feel the same about all of my husbands," she added and then went silent for a few minutes while Lynda let everything that happened to John sink in. In fact, she let go of his hand for few minutes and went to sit down for a while. Mark stayed right beside his sister as he watched her slowly but eventually processed everything as she looked back up at Mark. "So, now that he's sleeping and letting his body heal without pain," she said. "Wanna go to the café and grab a coffee?" she asked Mark. "My treat," Lynda said as she forced a smile. "Besides, we both could use a change of scenery for a bit," she said still with the smile on her face only less forced this time. Then Lynda reached over and took Mark by the hand and gave it a little squeeze in the loving sisterly way as she waited for Mark to say something.

Lynda smiled the moment she felt John's fingers twitching. It wasn't much of a movement, but it was enough for her to feel it. And then when Lynda saw John open his eyes, her smile grew even bigger. She ran her hands through his hair as she continued to hold his hand. Then she softly kissed his hand and then his cheek as she began to speak to him. "Hey, my sexy demon killer," Lynda said softly as she felt his thumb brush against her hand. Her eyes were sparkling with love as she just let the tears come, not caring about who saw her crying. He was trying to tell her that he was there and the smile grew bigger. "I know, my love, you're still here with me," she added as the tears still were falling, going everywhere. That's when she realized he was trying to speak. "Shh...don't speak, my love," she told him as she went on. "You have a breathing tube down your throat," she added as she realized that he was trying to get her to stop crying. She placed his hand on her wet cheek. Before Lynda could say something, Mark came over and touched her shoulder, which indicated that he needed to tell her something that he didn't want John to hear. Lynda nodded and looked at John. "Baby, Mark wants to talk to me for a few minutes, but don't worry, we will just be a few feet away and I won't be gone for too long," she said as she kissed the palm of his hand. Then she got up and went over to the corner where Mark was standing there waiting for her. As they were talking, Lynda folded her arms and let out a sigh as she tried think of something that would help John get through all the pain that he was going through at the moment, though John giving him a look that made Mark say what he did, made Lynda laugh enough to take the edge off what was going on.

Then Mark turned back to Lynda and began speaking once more about John's condition. Lynda didn't say much for a while as she looked over at John. She could see in his eyes that he was fighting hard just to get back to her. She let out a sigh as she was still deep in thought. Without saying a word to Mark, Lynda went back over to John and once more held her hand, which she felt him squeezing her hand and then he continued to squeeze her hand, which made her smile but also the tears came back again, followed by a smile. "I know baby. I never had a doubt in my mind that you were leaving tonight or ever," she told him as she began to run hand through his hair as she squeezed his hand back. Then she turned to Mark and looked at him for a few minutes. She told her brother that she trusted him and his judgement, which led her to also ask him if maybe a medically induced coma would not only allow John to withstand the pain, but give his body to heal properly while they kept a close eye for bleeders and infections. She said this would also give his lungs time to heal, especially if they got bruised or anything like that. It would also give them time to make sure that one of the broke ribs didn't puncture a lung or anything else that it could have punctured. She could see that that Mark was thinking about it as she turned around and looked down at John. Her face sparkled because of her crying, but she still maintained her smile. "I love you John Winchester Cartwright," she whispered to and then gave his hand a squeeze. Then she turned back to John and waited for his answer to her suggestion about putting John in a medically induced coma.

Lynda stood back and watched Mark begin to cut into John's left side. She made sure to stay where John could see her as Mark worked. She knew that John hated everything about hospitals, including staying in them. But she also knew that he would do anything for her and if that meant spending some time in the hospital to recover, he would do that. As Lynda continued to watch Mark work, her thoughts started to stream back to when she first met John. He was so suave and debonair and one hell of a good-looking rebel. Once Mark had the chest tube in, he sealed it up and then moved out of the way so that Lynda could once again be by his side and hold his hand. John stayed in the trauma room for a while so they could make sure the chest tube wouldn't leak. While they were waiting Lynda began to softly talk to her husband as she once again took his hand into hers. She gave it a little squeeze and then softly kissed it. Finally, she began to speak to him. "You know, I was just thinking about the night I first saw you," she whispered to him, knowing he could hear her. "You were so suave and debonair," she added dreamily as she used her other hand to run through his hair. "But what really attracted me to you was your good-looking rebel body and your jet-black hair," she added still sounding like she was in a dream. "Remember how we met?" she asked him, knowing he couldn't answer at the moment, but she knew that he could hear her and that was good enough. "I was sitting at the bar, having a drink alone when a demon came up and grabbed me and almost bit me," she told him. "And right before you demolished the demon, you just had to make a wise crack about how demons and angels don't mix," she said laughing as a tear rolled down her cheek and landed on his cheek.

She didn't care that she was crying, her main concern was keeping John's mind on her voice so that he could find his way back to her. She looked away for a few moments and then back at him as she went on speaking. "You managed to vanquish the demon and get the girl all in the same night," she said with a chuckle as she gently squeezed his hand while still running the other one through his hair. Lynda looked over at Mark and was about to say something until she noticed that he was busy reading John's x-rays and scans. She could see the look on his face and knew that something wasn't right but was too scared to ask her brother what was wrong. So, Lynda turned back to John, at least until Mark was ready to come over and tell her how bad everything really was. Lynda began to chuckle as she began to speak again. "Remember our first date?" she asked him. "You were so nervous that you actually forgot the name of the restaurant you was taking me too, so we drove around for several hours until I made you pull into a Pizza Hut," she said chuckling. "We ordered a large pepperoni pizza and drove out to the middle of nowhere in that chevy Impala of yours," she added as she was picturing it as if it happened yesterday. "We sat on the hood of that car, eating pizza and looking up at the stars and just talking," she said happily. "You know, that was the night I realized that I loved you and that I couldn't wait to spend my life with you," she added softly as she finally stopped running her hand through his hair and instead, laid her head next to his. "Please John," she whispered into his ear, now with tears coming down and the sadness came through his voice. "Don't you leave me. There is so much we haven't done together yet, plus without Negan, I wouldn't be here," she said softly, knowing he knew she was talking about her father and all the bad things he did to her. That's when Lynda closed her eyes and began to pray. "God, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can, please don't take my John away," she prayed. "He means more to me than life itself, and I can't see myself without him," she added. "Please, let me have my John for a hundred more years at least," she prayed and then after she said amen, Mark went over and placed a hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and looked up at her brother and knew it was time to talk about John and how much damage there actually was to his body. Lynda let out a sigh and nodded to let Mark know she was ready with the news that she knew he had to give her.

"I love you too John Winchester," she said as she kissed him softly, leaving her taste on his lips. "I'll be back as soon as I can," she added and then started to leave but stopped and turned around as she began to speak about the voices in John's head. "I'll make the voices stop, if you promise you'll keep Negan close, in case I need protecting," she said with a giggle. After John said it was a deal and smiled back at his wife, she then disappeared outside, closing the passenger door as she was walking around the truck to get into the driver's side. Meanwhile, the nurses and interns were wheeling John back into the trauma room, which Mark following right behind him. As Mark ordered an IV, which the nurse was gently putting into his arm, Mark began to listen to John's heart and then lungs. John's heart was beating good and had a good rhythm, but it was his lungs that had Mark really worried. After taking off his stethoscope, Mark looked down into the eyes of his brother-in-law and began to speak to him slowly and gently and to wear John could answer him back.

"Does it hurt to breath John?" Mark asked him, already knowing the answer just by the look on his face. "Does it hurt when I press here?" he asked John as he was pressing around John's ribs, which by this point a couple of them had already broken and one was dangerously close to piercing one of John's lungs, if it hadn't done it already. Mark kept pressing around that same area as he continued to watch John's facial expressions. Then he turned and yelled for someone to bring the portable X-Ray machine in as the nurse finished up with the IV. Mark could see that John was fighting hard to stay awake and so Mark went on talking to him. "Come on John, stay with me buddy," he told John just as Lynda walked into the trauma room after parking the truck in her own personal parking spot. She rushed over and reached for John's hand. She didn't have to say anything, he knew she was there and soon a smile came over his face, until Mark pushed down on the spot that hurt and John made the most painful expression on his face, which gave Mark the impression that one of his ribs had in fact, pierced his lung. Mark soon had the portable X-Ray machine set up and after everyone left and him and Lynda put on led vests and soon began taking pictures of John's chest. Once that was done, Mark got John stable enough for him to be moved gingerly to get a headscan, which Lynda stayed right by his side.

"You're welcome my love," Lynda told John as she chuckled happily for the first time in a long time. She knew that John was hurting pretty badly, even though he tried to hide it. And that made her heart ache for him. But she also knew they were very close to the hospital, and she would get him fixed up in no time. She came to a red light just before the turn off to enter the emergency parking lot and as she waited for her turn to go, Lynda began to speak to him softly and gently. "I just want to make sure that you know how much you are loved, not only by our children but by me also," she told him as they waited for a few more minutes before the light turned green and Lynda turned onto the road heading for the emergency room parking lot. As they reached the emergency room Lynda pulled up to the emergency door, where the ambulances normally parked, and put her truck in neutral. She left the truck running so that she could move it once John was inside. Then she turned to look at him deep in the eyes as she began to speak. "First off, my love, I'm glad that I am able to help you ease those voices in your head," she said. "I know that sometimes those voices can get loud and make you feel things you normally wouldn't feel," she added.

Then she went on with her thoughts. "But every word that I said to you, I meant it from the bottom of my heart. You do help me in so many ways, and you keep also keep me grounded, especially when I feel like throwing everything away," she told him as she softly touched his face. "And you don't screw things up, my love," she added as she took the back of her hand and gently rubbed his cheek, feeling the fever that was starting to rise inside of him. "You just keep things interesting," she told him with a playful chuckle. "You are a live wire that completes a part of me that nobody else can ever get close to," she added, now smiling tenderly and lovingly. "And I know I will have you by my side as I go through my treatments and anything else that I will need to go through to get better," she added. Then Lynda leaned over and softly kissed his lips one last time before going to get help for him. She couldn't help but press her lips to her forehead to not only to check for a fever, which he had, but to show him the love from her heart that she had for him. 

"Now, you wait here, my love," she told him once she breaks the kiss, even though she let her lips linger a little longer than she probably should. "I'm going to go get a stretcher and some help to move you gently, so you don't do anymore damage than you probably did," she said. She softly touched his face, just to let him know that he would be okay and that she would not leave his side until she knew for a fact that he would be okay without her. "Now, you just wait here, and I'll come around and help you gently sit up so that you will be a little more comfortable," she told him. Lynda didn't have to wait for John to answer her, she sat up and opened her truck door. Then she climbed out of the truck, which was still running and walked around to John's side and opened the door. Lynda climbed on the runner of the truck and leaned in and gently picked up John's head while putting his arms around her waist. Then gently and slowly, Lynda began to move John up from the laying down position to the upright position. She could see him start to be come a little paler than before and that worried her.

"Now you stay here and I will be right back," she told him, though she was sounding more like a doctor than his wife. She got off the runner of the truck and turned to walk into the hospital, closing John's door lightly so that he could stay warm in the truck while she was gone. Lynda was gone about five and half minutes and then she returned with a stretcher and a couple of male nurses to help her move John onto the stretcher. She gently opened the door, only to see John's face getting paler and she began to get worried about him. She stood there by the door, looking deep into John's eyes. "Listen to me baby," she told him as she took his hands into hers. "These two nurses are going to gently get you out of the truck and place you on the stretcher. And while I'm parking the truck, they are going to take you to a trauma room and start getting an IV in you and looking you over," she told him softly. "Once the initial checkup is done, then we will have a better knowledge of what tests we need to run," she finished up. Then Lynda softly kissed John's hands as she went on speaking to him. "You just listen to these guys, and I will be with you as soon as I can. Okay, my love?" she asked him.