john's Guestbook

Lynda couldn't help but smile as they sat there on the side of the road, holding hands and getting all their cards on the table. When John had finished talking and it was her turn, her facial expression softened even more as she started speaking softly to him. "You taught me a lot of what I know about being unfair," she told him warmly and playfully. Then she got serious again, though she kept her warm and soft tone she had. "You don't need to be scared my love," she told John. "As long as I'm in your heart and in your mind, there is nothing to be scared of," she told him as she leaned into his palm and closed her eyes for a moment letting herself get lost in his touch for a few moments before finally opening her eyes and speaking again, this time speaking to what he said about not being able to protect her from everything that he knew would hurt her.

She couldn't help but softly touch his face as she spoke to him. "John, hone, you do protect me," she told him. "You protect in so many different ways and from so many different including protecting me from myself," she told him. "Even when you don't realize it," she told him with her eyes still sparkling and her smile never leaving her face. "And I know that even when I go get help, you're still going to protect me," she added as she gently moved some hair from John's face. "Because I know you and how stubborn you are and going to keep in close contact with Mark," she said with a chuckle. "And I am not too sure that you won't ask for records of me taking my meds again," she said as she then brushed the back of her hand against his cheek.

"I fight them with yours, Bobby's, Ben's and Greg's love," she told him. "And because of that love you guys have for me, it gives me the strength to ask for help," she added. "And I know you will be waiting for me, which only makes me want to fight harder," she told him and then leaned over and softly kissed his lips. "I love you too John Winchester, always have and always will," she whispered to him. "And I am glad that I'm stuck with you because you are stuck with me, with everything you said and more," she said giggling. Then she sat up and after making John comfortable again, she made sure that nothing was coming and soon they were back on the street, which they were now in Viriginia City and headed to the hospital. "You doing okay baby?" she asked him as they were getting closer to the hospital. "How's your pain level?" she asked again, this time with both questions she was now in doctor mode.

"I know I'm not," she smirked with a smile. "You and I both know that I'm too stubborn and set in my ways to just up and die on you," she told John. "I was talking about you just up and dying on me," she told him just as her face and tone softened. "And I'm sorry for even making any type jokes," she said as she reached and took his hand. Then she gently gave his hand a little squeeze as she kept driving to the hospital with one hand. Then she saw the look that John was giving her. And not only did she love that look and it drover her crazy but it was one that says he was the one and only John Winchester.

"Don't worry, nobody but you will ever see the demon hunter side of me," she told with a smirk on her face. "I'm not sure not even the boys know about that side of me," she added with a smirk as she then got real serious. "I did because it needed to be done," she told him softly as she squeezed his hand softly. Then she continued her train of thought as she was pulling up to the first red light before entering Virginia City. "Sweetie, he's not coming here to just help take care of you," she said.

"He's coming because I need him here too. Plus, it's been over a year and half since Angel and Bobby spoke. And I think it's about time they patched things up," she added as they set there at the red light. "Besides, he's your best friend and it's time that you two start acting like it," she told him. Then her expression and tone softened as she continued her thoughts. "I know you want me at home and in our bed and by your side for the rest of our live, and honey, I would love nothing more to do all those things," she told him as the red light turned green and soon Lynda drove into Viriginia City, finding a safe place to pull over.

After pulling over, Lynda put her truck in park and then turned to look over at John and took both of his hands into hers. She knew he was scared and she could see it in his eyes, though she would never admit that he was scared. "What I'm doing isn't because I am a problem that needs to be delt with," she told him. "I'm doing this because I need to get back to who I used to be before I lost sight of everything," she told him as she reached over and softly touched John's face.

"I love you so much, my sweet and sexy John Winchester," she said with smile on her face. "And I never would think that you abandoned me for any reason," she told him softly and with a smile on her face. "And yes you can come see me anytime you want, though I did put some restrictions on the visitation, but it's nothing you can't handle," she added. Then she went into her doctor's mode. "Besides, depending on how sever your injuries are, you may be in a hospital bed of your own," she told him.

"I am never going to leave you, my love," she told John. "You will always have me, and I know I will always have you, no matter what life brings our way," she told him. "And don't you dare for one second think I'm leaving you because I'm not. I just need some time to clear the demons from my head and then I can love you like nobody's else can," she told him. "Besides, I think you could use a little time to heal up yourself," she said with a bit of a chuckle. "So, shall we get you to the hospital?"

"Of course, if you were to die on me," she said with a chuckle. "I would have to find someone else to show off my new leather jacket and deamon killing axe," she told him playfulls as she held his hand just as tight as he was helding hers. She turned her head slightly, enough to glance into his eyes and then turned back to the road. 

"Don't worry, I'm not going to sugar coat anything anymore," she told him as she was getting serious. "John, I called Bobby and he will be there in a few days to help you and the boys," she added. "Besides, it was about time that him and Angel got the air cleared between them," she told him. Then she cleared her throat and went on. 

"And I talked to Mark and he's going to get an isolation room ready for me," she told him as they were about half way to the hospital. She went on before John could object to everything. "Yes baby, I know I'm not alone in this," she said. "But I need time to get myself back on track and the isolation room will allow me to do that," she told him up front.

"I have everything just about taken care of. James is gonna run the hospital for me while I'm gone, Mark will oversee my treatments as well as helping me get back on my meds," she added. "Then only things I have left to take care of is making sure you are alright and take care of and to make sure that Hoss will be well looked after while I'm getting myself back on track," she finished, almost sounding like her old self as she waited for John's reply. 

"Good," she said softly as she started the truck and pulled out of their driveaway. "Because I'm not ready to bury you just yet," she said as she gave his hand a little squeeze back as she drove down their long diveway. As she continued to drive, she went on speaking to her husband. "And you're right, if you died right now," she started with a smile on her face as she continued. "I would bring you back long enough for me to kill you myself," she said with a chuckle. 

Then she moved onto another subject as she was clearing her throat. She got serious as she was nearing the end of their driveway. "Slow down your breathing," she said softly. "We will be at the hospital in 30 minutes or so," she told him. "But in the meantime," she told him. "There are a few things I need to discuss with you, if you feel like talking while I get us to the hospital," she told him. 

Lynda couldn't help but smile as her worry and doubt about herself slowly melted away. Lynda nodded, still smiling as she helped John into her truck. Once Lynda got John comfortably into the truck, she gave his hand one last kiss before she let go. Once their hands were free from each other, she closed his door and then quickly went around to the driver's side and got in. She put her purse down next to her after pulling out the keys. 

After starting the truck, it wasn't long before they were pulling out of the driveway and heading towards the hospital. As Lynda drove, she couldn't help but steal glances over at John, with a smile on her face. Then she began to speak to him, though she could tell that John wasn't doing so good. "Hold on honey, we will be there shortly," she told him. "Why don't you slide over closer to me and lay your head on my shoulder?" she asked him. "Just don't go to sleep," she intructed him in her doctor voice.