hoss's Guestbook

"I know my sweet baby boy," Inger said softly. "You're a fighter regardless of the fact that you don't actually like to fight," she said with her soft and warm tone. Then, after Inger listened to Hoss talk about how Laura was not leaving his side, even though he told her to go rest and she would not. Inger could not help but chuckle a little as she went to reply to everything, he had just told her. "Well, you did the same thing when you were little," she told him. "I don't know if you remember or not, but when you were little, Laura had an accident," she started, though not telling him what really happened. "And you refused to leave the hospital and insisted on sleeping next to her while she recovered," Inger told him. "So, it's no wonder she's not going anywhere," she added as she went on, though she could not help but feel bad for Hoss. She knew her son had been through a lot.

"Aww, baby, you aren't going to lose Laura," she told him. "And I don't think you scared her," she told her son. "I think you just worried her a bit, like you did all of us," she added. "But I don't want you to worry about that. I want you to think about happy thoughts," she said happily, trying to keep him calm and relaxed. She listened to him talk about how he never could think straight when it came to Laura and she couldn't help but smile. She could tell the Hoss was letting the warm memories take over the fear, which was making him sound much calmer than before. "She always did have a way of reaching a part of you that not even me or your father could reach," she told him. Inger let out a small laugh as he confirmed that both her and Michael were right about his proposal.

"I know you do, and when you are ready to propose proper, you let mama know," she told Hoss. "I have your grandmother's ring you can give to her," she added happily. "And then you can give it to your son someday when he grows up and finds the love of his life," she added. Though she could hear a calmness to Hoss's voice, she could still hear some fear in it as well. She went onto speak softly and gently as she always did when Hoss was not feeling good. "I know you're scared," she told him softly. "But you are in good hands with Lynda, and you have Lulu back," she told him. "And your father is there along with your brothers and sister. And Michael and I will be there very soon," she told him.

Then hearing the tiredness and yet the little boy in Hoss's voice, it brought a few tears to her own face. She had a feeling that he was also crying a few tears of his own. "Okay, mama will sing your song, but you have to lay there and close your eyes while mama sings to you," she told him softly. Then softly and gently, just as she did when he was little, Inger began to sing in her soft and warmest tone. "Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur," she started to sing and then went on. "Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr," she finished. Then Inger went on continuing to sing the same words repeatedly until he was completely asleep, which made her smile.

"I'm still here baby," she told him as she tried hard not to let him hear the cracks or the sadness in her voice. She cleared her throat and then went on speaking in her motherly and yet warm tone of voice. "I was just listening to you speak first," she added smiling even though he couldn't see it, she knew he knew she was smiling. "Aww...my sweet baby, you don't ever have to worry about feeling alone, because you aren't. You have your family's love to wrap up in, plus you have Lulu, and we both know that she won't let you feel that way," she said with a chuckle. Then there was a little bit of silence as Inger listened to Hoss struggling to breathe, which she could feel her own heartbreak, but she remained strong. Then she went on to answer his question of what scared her, before she addressed everything else he had to say. "What scares me is knowing the pain you feel is something that I can't just kiss away, at least not this time," she told Hoss. "You'll understand that kind of fear when you become a father," she told him still using her most soothing tone she had. Inger then went back and began and began to respond to everything that Hoss had said.

"I know you are doing your breathing, and I know are listening to everything you are being told," she said as she listened to him struggling to breathe. "You are doing good baby," she added now being as positive as she possibly can. She wished she were there with him right now, but Inger also knew that Hoss had Laura and the rest of the family with him. "It's my job to know what's going on with you," she added sill using that motherly voice. "So don't you go to worrying yourself about what I can or can't hear," she added. "It is not your job to worry about me. It's your job to give me something to worry about," she added still using her motherly tone and yet it had a playful vibe to it. But it was not until he mentioned Laura being there and her gentle touch over his heart was helping a little bit, that she made her tone soften even more. She knew that if anybody could at least keep him calm and safe, i was Laura. As Inger listened, she couldn't help but wonder if he had a seizure, which he had not had one in a long time, but if he got himself worked up enough, he could easily have one.

"I'm glad that you were with her when all of this began," she told her son. "Michael and I were wondering if Laura made if she made it there to you safely or not," she added before moving onto how she was helping him. "And I am glad she has her ways of making you feel better. She's always had a way of making you not only feel safe but make you feel better, no matter what you were going through," she added as a memory of Laura being wheeled into the ER with Hoss lying next to her, crying his eyes out. She shook that memory off as she went on to address what he said about him passing out in front of Laura again, which meant only one thing, and that someone was messing with Laura badly. Inger let out a sigh as she began to speak again. "Sweetie, was someone messing with Laura to the point you worked yourself up into a seizure?" she asked him, knowing that is exactly what he did. She knew that when it comes to Laura, Hoss never let anyone ever get too close to his Lulu. "I remember and I remember how upset you would get whenever she left your side too," Inger said with a chuckle. "You were always so cute when you got mad," she said softly. "Of course, you were always cute growing up," she added.

Inger then let out a sigh as she continued speaking to her son over the phone. She went back to speaking about his and Laura's relationship. "Anyway, that's how I knew you would be with Laura forever, and speaking of being together forever, how many times have you popped the question to Lulu?" Inger asked as she was trying to keep Hoss's mind on something other than his fear and what he was currently going through. "Michael says you are waiting for a romantic moment," she told Hoss. "But I say, since I'm your mother and I know you so well, that you have asked her at least a half dozen times," she said with a little, soft laugh. She knew she had to address Hoss's fears, so she got serious again as she spoke to him. And even though she was being serious, she still had a warmth to her voice that would make anyone feel calm and loved.

"Baby, I know you are scared," she told him softly. "What is happening to your body right now is a very scary thing," she added. "But you and I both know you are not going anywhere. Now I know that your heart wants to give up and I also know how very tired you are of fighting," she said and then went silent for a moment and then went on speaking. "But you have a lot of love and support from not only the family but Laura's family as well," she told him. "Plus, you still have work to do here on earth, so heaven is just going to have to wait to take you home, because I want me some grandbabies I can spoil," she said with a chuckle and then got serious again. "But seriously, my sweet son, there is enough love and strength behind you that you don't have to be scared anymore," she told him, now letting her voice go to that tone that she always used when he was sick or upset or even scared. "You want mama to sing your song to you?" she asked him.

Andrew could hear the fear in Hoss's voice, and he knew he was scared. After Hoss finished speaking, Andrew then went on to speak from his own heart as he just hit Viriginia City. "We are fine. There is no need to be scared for us," he said softly. "You aren't going anywhere anytime soon. You have too much you haven't been through yet," Andrew told Hoss. "So, let go of that fear that something's going to happen to us because you aren't feeling the best," he added. "Besides, we are family and when one member is down, then we all go down," he told Hoss. "Now, enough talking like we all are dying," he said as he moved on to the next subject as he was pulling up to his first red light. "Because nobody is dying today or tomorrow or next week," he said as he went on to mention Adam. "You understand me?" he asked Hoss getting that big brother tone that he always did when Hoss would do something wrong.

"And little brother, it wouldn't have made a difference if you were there or not. Like you said that horse is mean and it could have happened to anyone," he told him. "And I'll tell him, but it would be better if you tell him yourself," he added with a chuckle. "I know he would love to hear it from you and maybe, if you are a good boy and Lynda says it's okay, maybe we can put you in a wheelchair and take you down to visit Adam for a little while. "I know that would make him feel better to see a smile on his little brother's face. How would you feel about doing that?" Andrew asked Hoss before moving onto Joe and Jennie. "You're right they are good kids and they both do have good hearts," he said. "Though sometime, little brother, you do have blinders on when it comes to those two," he added with a chuckle.

As soon as the light turned green, Andrew headed in the direction of the hospital, still talking to Hoss. This time though, Andrew changed the subject to Laura as Hoss told Andrew about how Laura's been his rock and everything else. Andrew couldn't help but smile as he continued to listen to Hoss speak. But when it was his turn, he was stilling at a red light, not far from the hospital. "Little brother, Laura's always been your rock, and she's always been able to see through you and to the heart of you," he said as he went on. "I bet she's still as pretty as a rose, isn't she?" Andrew asked as he was pulling into the long drive of the hospital. "And you won't have to wait long for Laura to meet Joe and Jennie," Andrew said. "Because they are with me and we are looking for a parking lot now," Andrew said with a chuckle as he was pulling into the perfect parking spot.

After turning off his truck and him, Joe and Jennie sitting right next to him, Andrew said something shocked everything. "Hoss, I know I have never said this before, and from now on I will say it more often," he told Hoss. "But I'm proud of the big brother you have become for Joe and Jennie. I'm also proud of the man you grew up to be and I know that one day, you'll make the best husband for Laura and a great father for your future children," he added. "I love you little brother and I don't care what anyone else things, but I'm proud to call you my little brother and I wouldn't change one thing about you," Andrew's voice cracked now. "I love you little brother and I always will," he said softly. "Now you get some rest and we will see you very soon," he told Hoss.

"I know sweetheart," she whispered to him while watching his breathing becoming increasingly raspy. And the fact that she could tell he was having a very high fever didn't help matters either. Laura didn't say much as she got him over to the bed once more so that he could at least sit down. Then she quickly got herself dressed, making sure to keep a very close eye on her beloved Eric. Once she was done with getting herself ready, Laura then turned and began to quickly dress Eric. And as she did so, she went back and replied to everything Hoss had told her. "Honey," she said softly and quietly with a warm and soothing tone in her voice. "I have no plans of ever letting you go," she told him as she began to put one arm at a time in his shirt. "Nor do I tend to ever leave you," she added as she got his left arm in his shirt and began to work on the right.

Once both arms in his shirt, she pulled it over his shoulders and then smiled at him. She couldn't help but tease him a bit to help make him feel better. "Your head is only hot because I'm standing so close to you," she smirked and then smiled as she got down on her knees and began to slowly button up his shirt. But in the back of Laura's mind, she knew the real reason why Hoss's head was hot, and she didn't like it much. Laura then went on to speak about the other things that Hoss told her softly. "And I know you won't ever let me go," she said as she got halfway down his shirt before she looked up at him, stopping only briefly to finish her thought. "Because your heart belongs to me, always has and always will," she told him. "Just like my heart will always now and forever belong to you," she added.

Then Laura finished up buttoning shirt, leaving only the last few buttons undone so she could tuck them in his pants. Then she stood back up and got Hoss's pants and got them ready to put on. She walked back over to him and lightly touched his face, feeling the heat coming from him. Then she got down on her knees and gently began to speak to him, still using the same warm and loving tone as before. "My love," she told him as she looked up at him with a smile on her face. "I will hold you forever and always," she said. "I keep my arms warm just for you," she added as she began to put one of his legs at a time in his pants. "And you can hold onto the fact that my love was made just for you," she told him as she finally got both legs into his pants and was gently starting to pull them up to his knees.

Then Laura stood up and lifted his head so that he was looking up at him. "I'm not worried about anybody coming in here and hurting me," she told him softly, knowing that Gunnar probably already sent one of his men to come find her. "I only worry about you getting hurt, so I don't want you worrying about any texts I get, whether it be a good one or a bad one," she told him. "Because my love is strong enough to see us through anything," she told him. Laura continued to softly brush and stroke Hoss's hot face. She could see the sickness in his eyes, for which she couldn't do anything about. So, she was going to keep him calm and let him know how loved he was.

"Shhh, my love," she told him. "Nothing is going to happen to me. I'm staying with you until the good lord calls both of us up to heaven," she told him as she continued to softly stroke his face for a few minutes. "And baby, you aren't a burden," she told him as she wiped away any remaining tears he had been crying. "You are the man I love and I would gladly carry you if that's what is needed of me," she told him as she softly kissed his lips again. "And you do matter," she whispered as they looked deep into his eyes. "You matter to me, you matter to your sister and brothers, you matter your mama and dad," she whispered and then kissed him again softly before then getting really serious. "Now, I'm going to help you stand up, and I want you to hold onto me tightly while I pull your pants up, okay?" she asked him. "And right now, don't worry about if you are hurting me," she told him. "All I want you to do is hold onto me and concentrate on breathing," she added as she prepared to help him stand up so she could finish getting ready.

Andy listened to everything that Hoss had to say. He knew he had to somehow calm down Hoss before not only stroked out but went into another seizure that they spent what seemed to be a lifetime getting under control. Finally, Andrew came up with something that he knew would help Hoss calm down. "I know you're scared little brother, we all are," Andy told him calmly. "But not all of us has an angel like Laura to help take care of us," he told him. "Besides, I am kind of looking forward to seeing what the future holds for you and Laura," he told him. "Besides, don't you wanna know what the future holds for you and Laura?" he asked as he then swallowed hard as he went on talking about Adam's injury.

"Hey now, don't go blaming yourself for that," he said. "You know how stubborn that Adam can be and besides, he wanted to break that horse for Jennifer," he said as his tone went from worried to being soft and warm. "We all get scared little brother," he said softly and smiling even though Hoss couldn't see it. "I know you don't want anything to happen to all of us, but little brother, be we can't always get what we want," he said softly as he heard Hoss going back to talking about Lulu. That made Andrew's heart swell up with joy. He knew that at least she was keeping him fighting. "And believe me, she means it too. So you have to do your part and stick around, because everyone in Virginia City knows just how much you love her," he said.

Then, as he listened to Hoss talk about Joe and Jennie, Andrew could help but let out a little chuckle. "Little Bro, they only act that way when you are around," he told him. "To the rest of us, they are little baby devils," he said jokingly. "But I'm glad she is excited to meet them and that she already loves them," he said. "You know, Laura always had a soft spot for the family, especially when it came to you," he added with another soft chuckle. Then Andrew got serious and went talking. "Good to hear that little bro," he said. "Because I might just have to marry Laura myself if you decide to check out," he said chuckling and know that would make Hoss fight even more. "And we will be there in just a few minutes, but in the meantime, you do everything that Laura and the doctors say, okay?" he asked him.